My ‘test drive’ went so well they started the treatment immediately after. I will be going early morning starting tomorrow. I was tired today but I am not sure if I was really tired after just one treatment or if it was the power of suggestion that I should feel tired. Either way, I napped when I got home so that I would start good habits from the beginning.
Today I have the ‘test drive’ at the radiation dept at O’Connor. This is where they go through the program they set up for me based on the 2 hour torture session. It should only take about 15 to 20 minutes. After that they will assign me my regular time to come Monday through Friday for the next 5 weeks.
As I get a little better each day and have a little more energy and appetite I have started to dread the radiation. I don’t like the fact that I will lose a lot of the energy that has started to come back. I hate the idea that I will be slow and tired again. I know that it is necessary and that it is the last step toward kicking this cancer into remission, but I still hate the idea of feeling lousy again.
I have decided to retire from riding a motorcycle. My Suzuki 750 has been sitting untouched in the garage since my diagnosis last October. I loved riding but was too sick to. Riding a motorcycle is a thrill that not everyone can understand, but it sang to me. But as with many things, cancer has changed my attitude about my motorcycle. The old saying is that there are only 2 kinds of motorcycle riders; those that have ‘put their bike down and those are going to put their bike down’. So far I have been lucky and have never been in an accident. I have come to the conclusion that it would be the cruelest fate for me to survive cancer and then die from a motorcycle accident. I can’t do that to my husband and daughters. This is not something they have asked of me. If fact, my girls loved riding on the back of my bike and have often asked me to ride them to school so they could show off to friends. But it is something that I decided to do. I know my mother is thrilled.
This past weekend my oldest daughter had another birthday. Sweet 16. Old enough to drive a car. She is the same age I was when I went out on my own. My youngest is now 13. She was an infant in my arms when I took her to her first hockey game. Now she is growing up too. Going to concerts, hanging out with friends, dying her hair weird colors, typical teenage stuff. Add to that the nice doctor who reminded me that at 44 I am middle aged and you can see where my thoughts have gone this week. Of course you have to be alive to feel old so thats a good thing.
I went yesterday for my set-up appointment at O’Connor Hospital. The staff was great but it was harder than I thought it would be. They had to position the radiation machine and take measurements and xrays to make sure it was in the right spot. I have been doing stretching excersises but my left arm still doesn’t have full range of motion after the surgery but they had to have it back and over my head for almost 2 hours and I had to lay perfectly still the entire time. At the 1 hour mark I had all the pain I could stand and my eyes started to tear up from the pain. The nurse came over and moved my arm for a few minutes to relieve the pain some but it was far too short a time before she had to put it back up for more measurements. I held out for a few more minutes but was ready to quit when the nurse said she would go get someone to help her so the rest would go faster. Somehow I was able to keep going and it was finished about 15 minutes later. They took measurements for 4 different positions. They finished up by tattooing little dots on my chest so they could aim the machine properly each time. The dots are smaller than I thought they would be. The nurse told me that the worst was over and that my regular treatment sessions would last between 15 and 20 minutes. After that 2 hour torture session I think I can handle 20 minutes but I also know that I will be working on stretching out that arm position to make it easier. I go for my follow up appointment on May 30 and after that I will be assigned the same time every day for my treatment.
I thoroughly enjoyed Mothers Day today. Craig and I and both girls went out to breakfast this morning. Then I went with Tricia to see a musical production with some of her friends. After that I went with Katie to see 2 of her friends in the Childrens Musical Theatre production of Phantom. After that Craig took me to the jewelry store and bought me a darling little mother and child necklace. I am dead tired but feeling very content. It has been a great day.
My appointment on Friday at O’Connor Hospital went well. I met my radiation oncologist, Dr. Colburn. He was very nice and has a great sense of humor. He went over my file and said that I had a ‘fastinating case’. We talked about what has happened in the last month or so since the lung biopsy. He said with a big smile, “So, we’re going for a cure here, aren’t we?”. “Absolutely!”, I said. I have a great feeling about this doc. He’s a good one too. I can tell. He wants me to get some more movement in my arms before starting radiation since I will have to spend some time each day with my arm above my head while they radiate my lymph nodes. I go back on May 23rd to have my treatment program set up in the computer and to get the cross hair marks tattooed on my chest and back. The tattoos are so they line up the radiation in the right spot each and every time. I will start actual radiation after Memorial Day and go once a day, Monday through Friday, for 5 weeks. Dr. Colburn explained some of the very uncommon side effects, including heart damage and lung damage from the radiation. He also talked about the most common side effect; fatigue. He thinks I am strong enough to drive myself to treatment and back but he does recommend that I nap each day after treatment. No problem. I like to nap. He also mentioned the skin burning and blistering so I will need to be careful about it. I had been aware of both through my own research online so I am not too worried. Just looking forward to getting on with step 3 of my treatment.
Stay away from Colonial Life Insurance
I have an appointment on Friday with a radiation oncologist at O’Connor Hospital. He will exam me and review my charts to determine the amount and length of time for the radiation. It could be once a day or twice a day for many weeks. When I know something concrete I will post it here.
Now, let me tell you how crummy Colonial Life Insurance company is. I signed up for a small supplemental disability insurance policy. It would pay $1100.00 for up to 12 months if I am disabled. I am fully disabled while going through the cancer treatment and have been getting state disability checks for a couple of months. It helps but it isn’t close to what I earned working full time. I need the supplemental insurance money to keep us at the same income. Well, I filled out all the paperwork they required and had Kaiser fill out their part and Colonial sent me a check. But with the check came more paperwork. They needed my employer to fill out what my job duties are and how much standing, sitting, lifting, etc I had to do. Then my doctor needs to check whether I could so each of those things. If I don’t turn this new paperwork in they won’t pay me anymore. I called Colonial to ask them why they needed this information at all. What does it matter what my job duties were? I can’t do anything while undergoing cancer treatment. Didn’t Kaiser clearly report that I have cancer? Yes, they said, but the claims adjuster wants this information and if I want anymore money I need to fill this out. I asked to speak to the clains adjuster. I was told that the claims adjusters do not take incoming calls and that if they want to talk to me they will call me. The nerve! I paid this company each and every pay period and they won’t talk to me when I want answers. THEY will call me if THEY feel like it!!! They don’t fool me. They are hoping that I won’t jump through all their stupid hoops and will let them get away with not paying what they owe me. They are wrong. My family needs that money and I will drag each and every dollar owed me out of them. But I will remember how hard they made it on a seriously ill cancer patient to get the money they needed and when I kick this cancer and go back to work I will find a new insurance company. I will also warn each and evey person I know that Colonial Life is NOT an insurance company you should have a policy with. They are NOT a good company.
